These streetlamps become fireflies, comet-bright
around my head. I find myself, a rose
between my teeth and promises pricking my
tongue, climbing your trellis. You and I both
know my reasons: I'll stand there in front of
you, strip to my bones for you, and print "love"
on your eyelids. What we knew before as
skin is a barrier, collarbones masts,
and your vertebrae and ribs are ladders.
Wide-eyed, we can synchronise our breathing
and the rhythms that our hearts are beating.
Tapping on your window, I lick letters
from the words on my lips. Through timid night
comes your shadow. The streetlights are spotlights.















Comments
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~Living vicariously throught book characters~
I think the way you write each line to where it can stop for a pause (for the line by it self) but also hooks onto the next line just so is terribly clever.
You're good with casting multiple shades of meaning into your writing.
I also like how you repeated streetlights, but changed the metaphors. ('fireflies', 'spotlights')
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SHELBA-
T R O N
It's very well written and really touching.
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"This emptiness I've made my home
Embracing memories of dreams long gone
One last caress from the corpse of love is all I want
Underneath the cyanide sun..."
I wanted to come up with something cool to describe your writing skills, but since I'm not that creative "Master of Metaphors" was the best I could think of.
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"This emptiness I've made my home
Embracing memories of dreams long gone
One last caress from the corpse of love is all I want
Underneath the cyanide sun..."
"Tapping on your window, I lick letters from the words on my lips."
That holds a great meaning. lovely.
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lovely.
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